something new?

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Tuesday greetings. Did you all had a lovely long memorial day weekend?
Originally I would’ve had a nice and much needed relaxed weekend getaway, but in the end thanks to 1 e-mail and some ongoing issues that caused me to end up stressing over things and eventually, led me to feeling unwell and emotional. I know it was not worth it, and I know too well the idea of ‘live and enjoy the moment,’ yet it was something very difficult to remind myself when all I could think about was the decisions I needed to make, the future, and the plans… (Yes because I am a planner… I prefer to plan things ahead).

The morning back to reality did not go all that great. More dramas. (no surprise I guess) While I was still trying to convince myself last night that it might be best (and logical) to put up with the current situation until something comes up, what happened in the morning finally helped me make up my mind that it’s either I need to stand up for myself, or else I would continued to be mistreated for the worse.

Making up my mind is a scary thing because I already know what the outcome is going to be. Additionally, to my understanding of the situation there probably wouldn’t be much changes that’ll benefit me, yet I feel it is only the appropriate thing to do at this point because it is just simply not right for something to stress a person out so much to the point that she gets nervous pain and stomachache constantly just thinking about it. It is absolutely not worth it.

Some people say money can buy happiness. Achievements can buy pride. Passion could turn into career, or a life time investment… 

I think about it and started to question myself. Ironically, I could not associate my role with any of that. That, along with what happened this morning, finally made me decide it’s time for the change.

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“Happiness is a decision, you are as happy as you decide to be.”
Life is short, we all know it. Future is unpredictable so we gotta live in the moment, we heard of it. Yet, why is it so difficult to really follow our ‘heart’ and ‘mind’? I think part of it is probably because we get used to think, and we are constantly afraid of the unknown (at least for me), and we are not sure if the decision would make the situation better or worse?

Are you happy right now?

This is such a simple question, yet difficult to answer the older we are. I don’t know about you, but I am not happy – not in the slightest bit right now. Too much to worry, too little to choose from. Patience, confidence… future plan 

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I saw these random, but beautiful photos on Google image earlier, and thought they are appropriate to share with whoever that might be on the same boat with me, or feeling discouraged, unfit, unappreciated. There is a saying that I’ll always remember from my first boss “if you’ve done your best and tried your hardest, things still do not work out do not punish yourself, just move on.”

Always try your best, do your best, no matter how difficult the situation. Life is full of trial and errors. We learn lessons and moved on to the next one. I still want to believe it is important to dream, to hope, and to never let anyone or anything try to make you look down on yourself because of their jealousy or corruption.

Today, May 31st, I have made my decision, and I will have the talk within this week. Am I nervous? You bet. But will I do it? Yes ma’am. I think it is time I need to stop betraying my feeling and my mind.

At the end, it is about me and what I want.

Remember you are special, and things will work out for the best.
k. (need triple luck)

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